People these days want to know how to be confident. Whether it’s for job interview, going out on a date, acquiring new clients, or just having a confident mindset— people want to overcome shyness and be more confident.
I remember years ago sitting in a staff meeting with about 20 or so people, and all of sudden I felt so uncomfortable. I started to sweat a little, and felt like people were noticing something about me. Have you ever experience that? You’re thinking… “Do I have a booger in my nose or something?” I don’t know about you, but when I used to start to feel like this, my day would only go downhill from there. I just wanted to leave. No. I wanted it to be tomorrow already!
I used to not be confident at all
Regularly I experience fear, worry, doubt, and even a little anger, because I wasn’t feeling good about myself. Have you ever been there? It stinks! And you know you shouldn’t be feeling that way, but… you are.
I want to share with you four things you can implement right now so you can be more confident. Why is this important? Hey! If you don’t learn how to be confident, it could cost you a promotion. (…or it might even get you fired.) If you don’t learn how to be confident, you could miss out on meeting the man of woman of your dreams.
First of all, we’re not talking about arrogance. What are we talking about then? Well, let take a quick look at what Mr. Webster has to say about this topic.
- Having a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something.
- Showing that you have confidence.
- Being certain that something will happen or that something is true.
So, let’s dive right in. Here’s the number one way on how to be confident..
1. Stop thinking that everyone is looking at you.
Remember the staff meeting? I somehow thought people were looking at me. But you know what? They weren’t. One of the ways to avoid falling into this trap is by simply going into the restroom, and just… check on things. Do you like how your hair’s looking? Did you just finish lunch and maybe you need to brush your teeth real quick? These are little things, but they have a big effect on whether you’ll be confident, or not.
I remember a time when I was walking down the street with confidence, feeling good about life, but I noticed something. People were staring at me when I walked by and smiling. I thought, “Look at you Robb. You know you got it!” I would chuckle inside and then walk on my merry way. But it kept on happening. Little did I know, until I got home, that I had a big splotch of spaghetti sauce right on my chin.
So, moral to the story— stop thinking everyone is looking at you, EXCEPT if… maybe they really are. A quick look in the mirror is really all you need. Then you can walk into that meeting feeling confident. Let everyone else feel insecure. But you? Shine when you walk into that room!
The next tip on how to be confident might seem like a cliche, but it is what it is…
2. Believe in yourself.
I have a friend of mine who was deathly afraid of women. He hadn’t had a girlfriend in well over five years. As he leaned over the lunch table he told me something confidential. In a small whisper he said…
“Robb, I really do want a girlfriend, but I just don’t know what to say. I’m just not that confident when it comes to women.”
At that exact moment I noticed his eyes looking past me, and towards a table with three women. He kept looking over there, and so I said, “There you go! Just go over and talk to them.” He immediately shrugged off the idea. I told him, “Don’t worry, just be confident.” Again, a blank look in his face, like I was talking to him in a foreign language. Basically there was no persuading him.
So, I told him, “You know what? I’m going to go over to that table and you’re going to watch what I do, so that you can do it next time.” He looked at me like I was crazy. When I said it, I actually thought I was crazy too.
As I walked over I said, “hello”, and introduced myself. Then I pointed over to my friend, (letting them know that he was with me), and, of course, all the girls looked over at him. To this day, I’ve never seen someone become so pale, so quickly. Then I simply sat back down.
To make a long story, short— my friend now has been on several dates, and now has a new girlfriend. He also has a confident demeanor about himself now. I guess you could even say that, he has the eye of the tiger back. He’s confident and… he feels great. So, believe in yourself, and get out of your own comfort zone. Do something daring and courageous. Believe me, it’s going to pay off in the end.
The next way to know how to be confident is…
3. Learn to comfortable in your own skin.
I love what the immortal, Bruce Lee said…
“Always be yourself and have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and try to duplicate it.”
The best way to feel shy, timid, insecure, depressed or afraid… is to think that someone else is better than you. Too many people spend their entire lives wishing they were someone else. I’ve got news for you— you’ve got to love “you”!
Like my African American friend from Chicago says, “You know I love me some me!”
Oscar Wilde said it about the same way, (…but not as cool as my Chicago friend’s saying). “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
Take a look at this example. Let’s say you’re someone who’s always self conscious about your weight. In reality, you shouldn’t let that affect you being confident. If anything, you just need a plan to get where you want to be, and then just… “strut your stuff” knowing that you are well on your way to a better you. Six months from now people are really going to be watching you! (and in case, if you didn’t know it… that’s a good thing).
And finally, the number four way on how to be confident is…
4. Walk with confidence.
Think of the way you walk, or carry yourself when you’re insecure or depressed. Your head’s hanging low and your posture is slouching. But the more you’re aware of it, the better you can change it.
Test yourself the next time you got out shopping, or when you’re on your way to that important business meeting. A little tweaking of the posture can really make a huge difference. Many times it will be the thing to either make or break you being confident.
I’m not saying you need to walk down the street in some sort of strange way, as if you’ve got a gold chain around your neck, and a hat with a feather sticking out of it. No. Just be you.
Think about all that you’ve been through in life— and still you’re standing! Look at you! You’re amazing!
Now, don’t you think it’s time you thought that way about yourself too?
As we finish up, let me ask you something. Do you struggle with being confident, and if so, why do you think it’s a problem for you? Or perhaps you’ve overcome this huge hurdle in your own life. What did you do to become confident? Let me know in the comment section below.
Until next time, don’t wait for tomorrow— live your best life today!